ONE 

One primarily deals with strong will, positivity, pure energy. The number One reflects new beginnings, and purity. The symbolic meaning of number One is further clarified when we understand One represents both kinds of action: physical and mental. This combined with Ones urgency for new beginnings, we begin to see Ones recurring in our lives indicates a time to exert our natural forces, take action, and start a new venture. One encourages us our action will be rewarded in kind.

To begin the New Year, my meditation will be focused on the word ‘ONE’.  It reminds me of each individual in my life; that although I wear multiple hats, I am only one person. That one is harmonious, unifying all the different parts of my life into one balanced, positive center. The universe provides and I plan to be intentional in partaking of all it offers. Stay Tuned for the journey.

First, I must say that none of us need one designated day per year to express thanks. I am hoping that everyone will think about how good it feels to give thanks and to receive it and then will share the experience whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Why be Thankful? Well, there are always the obvious reasons like my teenagers, parents and siblings, close friends (both new and old), a home, a career and transportation.  However; I took a few moments today to think about the little things that we don’t often express appreciation for but if lost, would sorely missed.  Those things that we take for granted regularly. 

For instance, I am thankful to have ten fingers available to type this message. I am thankful to be able to appreciate the colors, sights and sounds of the world. I am thankful that my mother raised me to be something more than a domestic woman, not because there is anything wrong with that woman but because there is so much more that a woman can be.  I am thankful for my artistic gifts like writing poetry, stories, songs and the ability to sing.  I am thankful for being blessed with strong intuitive skills. I am thankful that there is food in my refrigerator and pantry, that I am able to breathe on my own and that I can jump up and down, dance, scream and laugh!

I am thankful that despite the efforts of some, I am still here…still standing…still shaking things up. I am thankful that I AM…because I am like all people, like some people and like no other; all at the same time.  I am thankful to be able to see the world differently than many and to accept and appreciate those who are different from me or than what I am accustomed to.

I am thankful to you for reading this blog and I’d be thankful for any thoughts you would like to share about the things you are thankful for….that you don’t often think about.

Just the other day

As promised, I am starting off the week with a post. I had been cogitating on a topic until it struck me that this would be an ideal moment to reflect on what it means to “start fresh”. 

Why am I thinking about the concept of “starting fresh”? Perhaps it is the desire to continue shedding those elements of my life that are not or have not served me well. Perhaps it is the dream-work being done to launch a consulting firm. Perhaps even, it is the acceptance of unexpected events and learning to accept the things that I cannot change. Perhaps, “starting fresh” means ridding myself of the counter-productive thoughts that at times, lends to procrastination.

The wise words of Albert Einstein have been echoed quite frequently lately….truly… insanity can be defined as “doing what you have always done and expecting different results”.  So, starting fresh would work concurrently changing previous, unsuccessful actions.  Many times, the act of letting go or “ending” an era is necessary to initiate a beginning. This theory is in harmony with the work of William Bridges in the book “Managing Transitions” when he offers a framework for how humans experience change. Namely, there is an Ending, The Neutral Zone and Beginnings.  For example, losing a loved one inevitably evokes a beginning of a life that does not include them (whether life be better or worst).

So, what I am going to do for myself, is to list 2-3 endings that I have experienced within the last 6 months and at least 1 ending that I need to facilitate in order to continue improving my life.  Just thinking about this will force me to keep my eyes on the mirror and the image it reflects.  This exercise may work for you too!!

I plan to share what I have learned or am learning about society, myself, people, groups and organizations.  Though I will not dive deeply into these areas at the present moment, I feel the need to begin.  Soooooo, I ask myself “what is present for me right now? In response, I will share a truism that we all know or come to know in life….those who claim to love you most are often the ones who hurt/disappoint you the worst.  Their promises, unkept.  Their love, unseen.  Their presence in your life, nowhere in sight.  It is this lesson that is one of the most difficult to digest, yet….a time comes when you must swallow the reality and move forward. Truly, it is those who make the mistake of forsaking you that will suffer in the long run…….regret is an ugly thing.   Either way, it is not for you to punish….rather learn, grow and forgive.

You still peeking?

Every now and again, I feel as though this life…my life…is missing something essential.  It is not that I am unhappy, or that I am struggling.  I am actually quite fortunate as a single mom in that regard.  I have a great career, 4 beautiful teenagers, fantastic family and friends, a place of my own, a nice car, I can write, sing, dance, I have been to some wonderful places.  Life is not perfect, however; it is satisfying. 

Even still, I have these moments where I experience what can only be described as an empty space.  I feel like there is an essential element that is missing that would make me feel more complete.

Perhaps, I am in love with my fantasies. My imagination sometimes has me caught up in the rapture of possibilities.  What could be? What should be? What can be? and what cannot be.  Perhaps, there is someone reading this short blog right now…….feeling the same way that I do.   Wondering what is missing? or “Knowing” what is missing with no clue of how to attain it.

The quandary is figuring out what to do, if anything.

Now, it is time to do something with my education. On the horizon is the realization of Boundaries Unknown Consulting, along with a few other ventures.  Stay tuned…..things are going to get interesting!!

The cute and simple beach look

If you are in my age range (not saying I am old, just not in my twenties anymore), have a demanding career, perhaps have children and so on; you MUST know what I am feeling right now. 

I just returned from a week long vacation in Myrtle Beach.  I was thrilled to be able to spend this time with my 4 teenagers since the last few spring breaks have been filled with my pursuit to complete a Master’s Program.  We had a oceanfront condo which allowed that breath-taking view of the ocean that I love so much.  We checked out a few Ripley’s sites (the museum, moving theatre, etc.), spent time on the beach, at the pool, in restaurants, Alligator cove, the malls (of course).

Guess who needs a “vacation FROM vacation”?  I love my teenagers, however; vacations with them require some work.  You are still managing their personal dynamics, worried about doing things that will please them all and doing lots of running to and fro.  Being a single parent has me being the one to do it all.   I have been blessed to be able to provide my kids with quality recreation.

Now, Mommy needs a vacation of her own.

I can only be ME

The people in our lives tend to have these ready-made scripts for us and they expect for us to play our roles without fail.  We are not necessarily provided with these scripts upfront to study and hence have the opportunity to choose if we want to be this character.  However; those around us obviously are expecting for us to “know” and to behave accordingly. 

 It matters little if this character truly represents who you are as a person, your authentic self. Only that you convince others that it is.  There is minimal gratification for these life actors (such as I was for so long) because unlike professional actors, you are not allowed to step out of that character without being met with some sort of punishment.

I gave myself permission years ago to burn the scripts and be me.  I realize that there are parts of me that some will love and others may loathe. Not everyone will agree with my opinion. Some will share my values/beliefs and others will struggle to understand my point of view. Some will like my hair, my dress, the way I speak and others will prefer that I change it.  Some will want me to make the choice that he/she feels is right and instead of what I feel in my heart is right.  And that’s all good. It will always be that way. 

What is important is that you know who you are and that you are comfortable with the person staring back at you in the mirror.  Toss the script and live!!

Most recent ME _

In my heart of hearts, I have had ALL the best intentions of updating my blog weekly. If for nothing else but to ensure that I have some means of creative expression in my life.  Isn’t it funny how “all the best intentions” count for absolutely nothing at the end of the day? Think about it.

If I intended to make it to one of my son’s football/basketball game and didn’t make it, will my “intentions” count as much as actually being there?

If I intended to submit a deliverable at work and failed to do so, will senior management appreciate my “intentions”.

If I intended to pay my electric bill but not got around to it, will Pepco notate my account with my intentions?

If someone tells you that they had every intention of writing you a letter, sending you a card, paying you a visit, keeping their word (you get the picture) yet these never come to fruition, how would you feel?  Sure, you appreciate the thought but tell the truth….in the back of your mind you are thinking “it sure would have been nice if you had actually done it!

Intentions are an admirable start however; it is the actions that realize your intentions that truly matter.  Where would I be?, Where will I be? What hope would my teenagers have?…..If I stopped at my intentions.